It occurs to me that when one has invested a great deal of time and effort into a thing, should that thing suddenly become obsolete, one can be reluctant to let it go.
Patterns of behavior that I’d devised for a world where white supremacy is an open secret suddenly feel obsolete because “white supremacy” can be said without only conjuring images of white-cloaked hooded ghouls. And I find myself looking a touch wistfully at some of the (perhaps) now needless but clever ways I’d devised for dealing with that specific form of white supremacist oppression.
The idea of going “incognegro”, taking care my Black business but stealthily so, was such fun! Knowing that the structure and many of the people in it didn’t take into account that we could have understandings or agendas beyond the obvious meant that there was quiet space to operate below awareness. There’s liberty in being underestimated and freedom if one can live happily without needing a certain type of acknowledgement.
But with many of our understandings and agendas now out in the open, that’s all changed. I could continue as before; I suppose it’d keep them guessing — because they are looking now. Are they seeing? Does it matter? Hmm! New questions…
In any case, my “old” way no longer feels like living, no matter how shrewd.
Time for new strategies.